В душата на една фея

I dont know even how to strart from where after I am so confused and even I do not know why...I have no order and this is annouying and even scares me out...I do not know where to begein and how to beging my day and this somehow sad.I have so many things to deal with and I do noy know if I am capable of doing that.I want to sleep and this is because of the rain outside.I slep about 8hours and the day before 13 hourse and I am sleepy now I cant explain it....I feel like my best friend is no longer my best driend she just pretend but khave no feelings in it she doesnt even care and this makes me sad,but I realise it and I am going to pay attention more on the peoples that really matters to me and they care for me too.they may be a few but at least I have them....I found out that my class has a really nice personalities but their people do not want to show it and that is sad too...One boy who I like to communicate and we met here delete his profile but at least he gave me his e-mail so we...

I am somehow happy today...I got excellent on my history exam...my mom is pretty well....my mom and dad do not arguing....so...my sister is back training....and I feel the world under my feet again...I can control my life and that makes me happy...today I told my class how are the things with all the justice in school and almost beat one of the boys from the other class...and feel that I am me for the first time while I am this clas...myspace is not really full but that do not bother me because I made it for myself to see the things that make me happy..today I found a new film which fill me with emotions I hadnt feel a long time...I listen to good music and soon I am going to have dinner with my family...what more should I want...well of course there are other things but for now,for today that is enough...and I am happy =]

You know sometimes I do things that I shouldnt because I have to do smth else but it is boring or annoying or I do not want to do it instead I do smth that I like...now again this happened to me...I watched Gossip girl and One tree hill instead of studying literature and iconomics...I find that subjects really boring ....and this evening I am happy so I decided that I deserve to continue be happy with watching them....and I feel better I know that tommorow maybe I wont get the great I want but I have no regrets...it is just that throught this tv shows I just feel alive and like I am in the film and feel their emotions and it is good,for a moment u forget your problems and troubles and your another person and u are worrying about their things....I just love films..today I found a film which I am keeping for saturday evening...it is like Save the last dance...all about dance is near me...I cant dance but I wish I could...I think that if I could dance that would be the best way to express...

I had an arrgument with my mom about that I don like her life style since last summer.And she told me that it is her private life and that if I am not affected from it that I dont have to care about...is is the problem in me?The fact that I spend my free time not relaxing doing smth meaningful and useful,the fact that I have a few friends who I saw once in a month,the fact that my best friend is not my best friend from a long time and again the fault is mine or is it the fact that I have no company I have no people to share things,ideas,interestd,talks,walks,parties and so on....or is it the fact that computer is my rescue from the world...am I going to be the lonely,sad,dissatisfied with big dreams,hopes,opportunities girl...or am I this already...and is it the fault on my mom because she made me her second HER or because she made me grown up faster tha I shuold and now I just have difficulties to talk with my ownclassmates but I have no difficulties to talk with my mother`s frinds .....

My mom says that people between 16-22 must forbbid them to learn because they are interested in parties and love not in studying and I laught because love was never a priority for me and whatever it is going with me love life I didnt forget my goals....but the thing is that with me there is no simple it is always comlicated and that is strange....I am almost 17 I have a littel experience with the boys at my age and I am not impressed.But I love to watch and hear about the relations other have....I mean my classmates and my friends told me about their loves their way to relax and have fun together how they feel about them what bothered them and that is the way how I learn a lot about boys we analyze them and I think I can give some advices but when it turns out to me I do not know what to do and how to act I am so scared and nervous and eadily get angry...it is good the thing that I cant live without them and I can live with them strange but true...and again a complete mess and I didnt ...

I am really in a hury right now because I have to read Hamlet for tomorrow and dont be surprised if you dont understand anything or just mess up all the information and it is not clear.... It is about my class...I cant remember who was I 3 years ago,I dont know who am I and I dont who I will be сin 3 years and here I begin the problem about my class is that we are together from 3years and then I was[from what I remembre and think]very confused negative angry and so on and the reflection from these my emotions soon became fact-no body liked me and I wasnt the person they wanted to talk and they still dont want to change their mind even I really changed...the real thing is that my dreams,my view of life,my priorities and my style of living is away from theirs sa I decided then that after I dont have smth to stop me here[because I have no friend or well maybe I do have and they are few but true they think the same as me so we probably are going in the same direction and we will be togethe...

This year have just started and I feel like most of it had passed...every day happens smth that I have to take care or appear smth new that I should do in the future...I think my schedule is full for 6 months from now and maybe more-this tired me up and when I think what is on I just want to bury my head in the ground.And when I think that these staff are all wanted by me I just cant imagine how my mind thought of them But even this I think I am happy I have my dreams,my family,my few friends,you,my troubles and these littel words or gestures make me happy and it is really amazing how smth littel can make me feel like this...it fill me with power,with love,with desire to live-it is just wonderful and when it happens rare I just feel like in my dreams when I fly or do smth I want but cant...I have no words,I cant explain it and when it happens more than once in a day nothing can change your mood...and you even inspire and make people smile even if their day is awful,because your happine...

This morning my family was invited to my grandfather`s birthday[my father`s father]and I said that we are busy and probably we wont go.After that I talked to my mother she said that she will be on work and me and my sister should go-but the truth is that we dont want to go...it is so iritaiting and they annoy me with every second word and they always something to comment something that is not thier business-but that is what old people do...and there is another thing in my big family evrybody are expecting something for me they want and expect from me to be the best in the family and everywhere and I am tired from trying to do what they want me to do and to say and act how they want....I dont want to have this kind of family-I want this big enthusiastic happy funny full of life family.....I dont know it is just that I am letting this after all I have never been too close to them and I dont want they are not the perfect I dont know if they love me or appriciate what I am doing or know wh...

They say we leave this world just the way we came into it, naked and alone... So if we do leave with nothing what then is the measure of a life? Is it defined by the people we choose to love or is life simply measured by our accomplishments and what if we fail or have never truly loved? What then? Can we ever measure up? Or will the quiet inspiration of a life gone wanting drive us mad?

Last night I was thinking to go to the fitness and train while I think but I stay late at night on the computer so I overslept.It was the first evening of the new year.I spent the day with my family laughing and shopping and at the end of the day I realize what I have and what I want to do in future what are my goals and where I want to be…My example is my mom she is not a saint or perfect but somehow she contains all that I want to have-the strength the mind the experience the wisdom….she thought all this only from life ….she never go to university or college-but does this matter at all I don’t think u have to went to university to have brain and to think right.I mean I want to go to university because I love to learn but that doesn’t mean we have to judge and not talk with other people without this education or to have prejudice for them….we have to give them a chance to prove themselves… but that is what I thought… Today when I wake up I turn on the radio and there was playing Infin...

Често се питам-кое е това,което ни отличава един от друг....Дали това,че можем да откъснем,подарим или дадем от себе си усмивка...обич...любов...или...че можем да изпитваме омраза...злоба и ярост... Кое ни прави по-силни?Кое ни пази на това измерение,където сме временно..Мисля...търся отговори...опитвам се да чуя полъха на вятъра,който носи много болки...думи...изпитания! Слушам музика...тя говори...тя иска...тя търси...тя намира...тя обича.. Нежност...истина...дете...невинност... Дано чуя посланието и...дано открия отговорите...дано успея да накарам усмивките да се появят на лицата...нашите...човешките...Дано!Може би си струва да опитам!....

ФЕНИКС Да възкръснеш като Феникс от пепелта... Да усетиш Живота - течащ във вените ти... Колко малко е всичко товаи колко скъпо струва понякога! От руините на сринатия святизравям истина и късче бъдеще... Посявам семенце във мъртвата земя,за да поникне то и да ме има! Дали отново Фениксът ще изгориот собствения огън с гняв запален? Дали Животът ще се възродиот мъртвата земя с любов запазен?!

A little old men and I felt outI tell you what is all abouthe had money and I had noneand thats the way the noise began…. …and when the snow begins to fallit is like a bird upon the walland when the bird away does fly Its like an eagle in the skyand when the sky begin to warits like a line at the door And when the door begins to crack It is like a stick a crash her back And when your back begins too smart Its like a penknife in your heart And when your heart begins to bleedyou are dead and dead and dead indeed…

I thought I knew you. But I guess it's easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. You think you know me but you don't. And that means you don't know what I can do. You see me as someone popular and has all the answers but that's not true. I may not always know what I'm doing but I'll try to make things better. And when I make a mistake, because face it, we all do, I promise I'll ask for your help. I can't do this alone, but if you'll take a chance on me, we can do great things together. I promise if you believe in me, I'll find the courage to reach for your every dream. John F. Kennedy said, "the courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures. And that is the basis of all morality".